Satire: The IMG Elevator Strikes

IMG Academy senior Michaela Bonamy’s stair defense tactics captured in action. Photo: Sydney Park

On Wednesday, February 3, 2021 at 10:36 am, tragedy struck the third flight of stairs located in the new academic center building. IMG Academy senior Michaela Bonamy, who currently suffers from a serious gymnastics injury - a fractured fifth metatarsal- was unable to use the elevator to reach her third period class. 

The elevator had been properly functioning earlier in the morning according to college counselor Heather VonSeggern, commenting that, “I actually used it this morning and it was fine… so whether it was just a malfunction of the works of the elevator or perhaps someone went in and punched the wrong button, it is definitely unfortunate.”

Evidently, the elevator had decided to terminate its benign service around 10 am when it was most needed by injured students like Bonamy travelling to their next class. As a result, Bonamy was left on the second floor, stranded in a very vulnerable position: left leg in a cast, crutches in each hand, a bag filled with cumbersome textbooks, and two flights of stairs. It was a daunting task to say the least. 

Suddenly, as if he could read her thoughts, Campus Security officer Omar Schwanzer offered his assistance in helping Bonamy up the stairs. Bonamy proceeded to hop two impressive flights of stairs on one foot while Schwanzer spotted and carried her belongings. Bonamy, a natural athlete, recorded a new PR of 30 seconds up to the third floor, entirely hopping on her good foot. 

During the post-round interview, Bonamy remarked that she was tired from the feat, but she wanted to finish strong. She is very appreciative for Mr. Schwanzer’s assistance and she, along with many others, hopes that the elevator will be back in business promptly.